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poems (25) preachy shit (6)

Sunday, June 02, 2024

Rocky love

 A Rock once fell in love with a little Boy. 

He was a naughty little Boy, with an impish smile. An endless list of things that made him happy. A kiss on the forehead. A smile given in secret. A touch of the fingertips. 

A Rock. Yes, strangely, even a Rock made him happy. He had no other rocks in his life. Nothing to lean against when he was tired. No one to hug when he needed one. No presence that would be with him, any day, any time. No one to tuck him in at night, or soothe him when he was sick. And as a little Boy, he sure fell sick a lot. 

So Rock decided to be there for him. Sometimes, it would try to make him happy. Other times, it would simply exist, watching him struggle as he climbed up, slipped down, and climbed up again. Sometimes Boy wouldn't climb up and Rock would wait to see him. Boy made Rock happy. Boy made Rock want to be a girl sometimes, to giggle and cry and throw a tantrum like other girls. So once in a rare while, Rock would put on a dress and some makeup, and turn into a little girl with a big smile. 

Rock was happy. Boy was happy. Until one day, Boy started climbing up less and less. "Why?", wondered Rock. Had Boy become bored with it? Was Boy busy with other things in life? Sometimes Rock even wondered if Boy had found other rocks to play with. But, no, that couldn't be true. Boy would tell Rock if that happened... right?

Less and less. Less and less. Rock would sometimes tremble in fear, alone. No one else knew Rock existed, and no one acknowledged Rock's existence. Except Boy. Only Boy saw Rock, and the little girl it sometimes turned into. Only Boy understood Rock's silly jokes and laughed with it. Only Boy deserved Rock's full attention, if only he would give one of his impish smiles in return. Rock would sometimes try to talk to Boy, but Boy was always tired and turned away to sleep. Rock would smile at Boy in his sleep, because even then Boy looked like an angel sent from heaven just to make Rock happy too. 

But Rock grew lonely again. Sometimes other tourists would pass by, and sit on Rock. Sometimes they would kick it for fun. It was a strange & serious looking rock when it was not with Boy. So sometimes poeple would make fun of it and call it names. One rude man once came with a hammer and started to chip away at Rock, to make space for his own rocks to settle. So Rock moved a few inches to the side, just a bit. Now it was closer to the edge of the mountain, but it knew that Boy would protect it from falling off. All they needed to do was work together, right? Then both Boy and Rock would be safe, and maybe they'd even find a better place to rest and play together. 

Boy climbed up the hill the next day, and came to a stop at the place where Rock used to be. Without a care, as he always did, Boy leaned on Rock to share the news of his day. But Rock wasn't there in its usual place. There it was, a few inches to the side. Boy looked at Rock, and looked and looked. He stared at the spot where Rock used to be, and at the new spot where it was. And in that moment, Boy decided he hated Rock. 

Rock was supposed to be HIS rock. Right where he wanted it, and only there. No changes allowed, unless Boy wanted them. And Boy did not want this change, and did not like it. Now Boy would have a walk a few extra steps every day, and even catch a glimpse of that scary space down the mountain from so high up, just to see stupid Rock. Boy wanted Rock to come back to it's usual spot, right now! He'd never seen anyone kicking Rock, so why was it making up stupid stories? It should just stop changing things and making it harder for Boy. Rock wasn't even that pretty when it was a girl. Why should Boy have to do things he didn't want to, just to be with Rock? It wasn't fair!

Rock grew lonelier and lonelier. It understood Boy's pain. No one had ever tried to be there for Boy, before he found Rock. No one had ever tried to make things better for him. And now Rock had failed at it too. It had hurt Boy, without ever meaning to. When Boy started looking around for other rocks to play with, Rock was hurt, but it understood. When Boy stopped wanting to play with little girl Rock, it understood. Little girl Rock was plainer than other little girls. 

When Boy one day pushed Rock away and rolled it down the mountain... it understood. It saw Boy's pain, even though Rock was now breaking up itself. That push had hurt, so much. There were cracks all over, and Rock's pain threatened to drown out its understanding. No longer could it turn into a little girl again, no longer could it laugh and hug and kiss again. Rock was now a broken rock. But still, deep inside, Rock understood that Boy was hurt too. Hurt Boy, hurt Rock. 

Boy would look over, down at where he had pushed Rock, and cry for it sometimes. He missed Rock and the comfort it offered him. Not enough to go and bring Rock back, just to see it from afar and wish that Rock hadn't changed things. For what use was Rock if it couldn't be where it was supposed to be, and comfort Boy the way he wanted? No, Rock was useless to Boy, and now it was even more broken. But maybe, maybe, Boy could one day stop hurting, and bring Rock back? Maybe it would be worth it? Rock certainly hoped so. Sometimes, even Boy dreamed about it.

Soon, Boy replaced Rock. Boy was tired of waiting to feel better. He wanted to feel better, NOW! Rock kept watching the mountaintop, whatever little it could see from down there. And it saw that Boy had stopped looking for it. That Boy had stopped thinking about it. That Boy had started clearing away the place where Rock used to be, and throwing the trash down the mountain too where Rock was. And one day, Boy brought another rock, one with veins of gold running through it and beautiful murals drawn around it, and put it in the place where Rock used to be. Boy took admiring steps around his new rock, slept against it in peace, and made sure it was right where he wanted it to be. Not too close, and not too far. 

As Rock looked on, it cried out for Boy. 

"Boy! Have you forgotten me now?"

Boy looked back at Rock one last time, and said, "Yes. I have a new rock now. And I don't want to be distracted by my past anymore." 

He threw those words down at Rock, where it was struck! STRUCK!

And having nothing else to hold onto, Rock rolled further down the mountain, fell in the canyon, and vanished into the abyss.