Envelope of darkness

All good things come in threes; so do bad ones. My life often deviates from this well-defined path, often venturing into realms of infinite horror and darkness. When I joined this institution, I'd imagined that I would live a peaceful life, free of conflict and torture of the kind I have faced before. How naive I was to think that I was among mature and intelligent people! Once again, I am in a colony of fools, their heads filled with age-old prejudices, with the maliciousness that is exclusive to slackers and "second-raters". Belief in so-called friends has become nothing more than a big joke. Loneliness takes on a whole new meaning, with alienation no longer being a matter of choice, but survival instead. What is the value of honesty in this environment? I had hoped these people actually followed some ethics atleast when it came to their work; once again, I have been proven wrong. My ego scolds me for pitying myself, for being so ignorant and trusting, saying, "When will you accept things as they are? When will you understand that this is the way all people are, everywhere, and without exception?"

These questions echo inside my head, and the only argument I can think of is that there are exceptions - I know there are. There have to be some people in this world who realize that there is something wrong with the the way others behave. There has to be someone who stands against this practise of cannibalism : one human devouring another human being. I still believe it is worth my time to find these people, so that I can make sense of this world that seems to have gone crazy.* I have to know that I am not alone. I have to be strong and go on, and I have to find my hope and make my life the way I want it to be.

*I remembered at this point that I have always found the world I live in to be highly irrational and just plain old dumb sometimes. It makes me wonder whether the world has gone crazy, or have I always been so different from the crowd that I have always been alone.