My Abyss

What do you write when your heart is gone?
There's only Black, and you are alone,
Calm and still, without any life,
No more laughter, no more strife,
Just you and your sins to atone.

What you do comes back tenfold -
The hearts you broke, the promises sold.
It hits you with the force of a gale,
Tears - your rain, and Hate - your hail,
Batter you till you're torn and cold.

When on your feet you're back,
Looking at the bits of your heart hacked,
You know its better to feel no more,
Love and hate left outside your door.
Give in to the Cold, cold Black.

Thief in the Night

Its dark, alone, I steal past you.
Oh, the thrill! Dark dreams coming true.
I scare you, enthrall; come dawn, take flight -
Thieves should never court morning's sight.

Exciting! To have a thief in the house!
Beautiful, deadly, just enough to arouse.
Forbidden, desired just the same,
Never missed, once your fantasies I tame.

Who'd want a thief? No man for sure
Not one with a broken heart to cure
Nor one with a long life to bear
Why want a thief with only love to spare?

Don't even try to love me back
Don't you ever dare cut me some slack
Use me, blame me, a thief like me
Will love you still, though hurt I may be.

Ask me to leave whenever you like
To walk away, and I'll oblige
Marry, live, grow old, die, and Never!
Never again see this thief of the night.

I get the feeling this is one of my worst poems to date. Still.. The heart refuses to quiet down even when the mind cringes at the thought of publishing this :)

I give up on love
And all that it implies,
I give up on pain -
The will to survive.
There's little I have,
I give that up too.
I give up
On you.

"To women, as far as I'm concerned" - by DH Lawrence

The feelings I don't have I don't have.
The feelings I don't have, I won't say I have.
The feelings you say you have, you don't have.
The feelings you would like us both to have, we neither of us have.
The feelings people ought to have, they never have.
If people say they've got feelings, you may be pretty sure they haven't got them
So if you want either of us to feel anything at all,
You'd better abandon all idea of feelings altogether.

A Prayer of Hope

My lines, they fill my mind with hope,
It slowly slides up that slippery slope.
My love for the world, and all its ways,
Keeps me from drowning in dreary days.

The trust I place in life and luck,
A misplaced faith, seemingly stuck,
In nothing but dreams, with nothing but air;
Faith in a world that's fine and fair.

Whither the fear? Whither the hate?
Where is that frightening hand of fate?
With me I carry my Maker's mark,
Safe and away from all that's dark.

Those lives I've lost, those friends I miss,
I dream of them, their brows I kiss.
Every moment I live, I pray,
Let no more life be lost today.

I wrote this within a few minutes, on 12th Feb, at 7.30 p.m. while waiting for a taxi to take me from Pune to Mumbai. I had not been planning to go that day, just as I had not been thinking of writing any such thing. The next evening, my favorite cafe in Pune was blown to bits.

The Canary and the Crow

The French say "je t'aime"
Like the sound of phlegm
"Amore!", the Spanish shout
With considerable lovemaking clout

We all say things we mean, and some we don't,
We forget sometimes that we're not alone..
But its ok to be alone too, if that's what you want,
Because, after all the tears and the snot,
I'm sure all your memories will be gone.

I'd like it if you loved me too
I'd love it if you liked me too
But what if you can't? What if this is wrong?
What if you want a crow to sing a canary's song?
I can sing my silly rhymes till my face is blue
But I just can't stop loving you, even if you do.

So the French now, with their silly ways,
The Spanish and their bull-riding days,
Fools they are, with hearts on a string
Fools to hope its bell will ring
Fools like me, so a wise man says.

The Sine Wave

Numbing is what I know up close,
Feeling is what I wish I chose.
Smiling is what I'd like to be,
Falling, in my future I forsee;
Grief of my life, I feel thy force.

Then comes the dance in our heads, our hearts,
Glittery, washed out; then take-two starts!
Drum-beats so loud, my feet laugh out!
Music so blind, my heartbeats shout!
Piercing me so! these ecstasy's darts..

The music dies out, the drum-beats fade,
Sticky sweat trailing in its wake.
As winter goes, and flowers bloom,
The heart, the mind, are left with gloom.
The soul crawls into some loving oak's shade.